do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
