ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Randomize
