i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
