Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
