Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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