I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
