exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
