Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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