I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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