Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
