can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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