imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
