i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize