theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
