She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
