Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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