summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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