you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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