Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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