As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
