I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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