The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
