I hope mine doesn't look like that
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
