if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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