It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
