i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
