im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
