She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
And then my night got REAL pukey
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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