Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
