So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
