Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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