New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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