If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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