you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
