I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
