Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
