Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Did you just see the Batmobile???
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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