Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Drunk is not a location!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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