I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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