Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
