we're blogging at a bar
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
