he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
third nipple confirmed
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
