this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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