Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
