Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
