thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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