direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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