Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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