She announced her abortion via fbk
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
