Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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