So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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