if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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