So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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