Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
