he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
